Day 336 living from my heart

black framed glass window with heart draw

It started in the fall of 2018 that I felt more tired than ever before. For a couple of months I had gone through some stressful situations. I had placed myself in an environment that wasn’t healthy for me and I was trying to find a way out of it.  The whole situation triggered a lot of stress within me and my body, to the point that I ended up in the hospital with an irregular heartbeat. While I was laying there, I immediately new that stress was the cause. In a chat with Sunette it became clear that my heart had stepped in to support me and was communicating with me; ” I can’t carry the burdens of the past any longer, I am ready to heal and be fulfilled with the heart of your presence, the love I know you can give to yourself and others… time to let go, let go, let go”. 

I was living in my mind too much and this was the cause of severe stress. As a solution, I had to define the words ‘living from my heart’. I opened up the word ‘heart’ and first thing that came up was a picture of a red heart and the word love, as it is symbolic for romantic love as most people will relate to. It’s interesting to know that the origin of the word ‘romantic’ means; ‘appealing to the imagination’ and ‘unreal’. So quite superficial. But many people referring to the heart in a more profound way as it represents the innermost of man:

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart.”  – Helen Keller

Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.” ― Rumi

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” ― Kahlil Gibran

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” – Carl Jung

Within my investigation, I asked others about their perspectives on what it means to live from the heart. I took the words that I could agree on and completed them with what I had found myself;  Self-love, Self-care, compassion, trust, appreciation, gratitude, fulfillment, dedication, Self-expression, support, passion, growth, courage and expanding.  These words will support me in my process.

What I also did was to support myself and my body even more than I already did;  I started with poweryoga and, on a regular basis, I walk outside for at least 1 hour. I investigated which food will be beneficial for my body and I take supplements. Just to make sure I take full responsibility for the condition of my heart and body.

To be able to live from my heart, I have to unconditionally let go of the past. The self-blame, belief of not being good enough, guilt, regrets and judgements of who I was back then. Face it, forgive it and let it go. Writing supports me to dig into the dark places within myself, finding the memories that are attached with emotions and feelings that I carry with me. Time to let them go, to heal and fulfill myself.  It’s not about trying to correct myself to be better. It’s about who I am now, from the startingpoint of being Here in every moment of breath and Self-honesty.

To be continued…