Day 337 Let’s talk about money

Geldmachine Aan Druk Nieuwe Euro Bankbiljetten Stock ...

When I found out as a little girl that there was such a thing as poverty and that not everyone had enough money for food, I asked my parents how money was made; “Money is printed on a machine,” my parents answered. I immediately responded with ‘then more money has to be printed so that everyone has money for food’. My parents then explained something about money that didn’t make sense at all to me.  I saw that my solution was the most simple one.

When I grew up I noticed that our family lived in a bigger house than other people. My parents ran their own business that did well but their employees lived in a smaller house. Both my parents and the employees worked very hard and yet there was that inequality … I felt very uncomfortable with it and wanted to know how this inequality could exists.

At 21 I left my parental home and found myself financially illiterate. I now had to do what my parents had always done for me; taking care of myself, also with finances. I studied and made sure that I paid my  bills.  I  ended up in low paid jobs where I worked 40 hours a week and barely managed to pay the bills. The possibilities that I had as a child, because my parents could afford it (having my own horse, go on vacation, go to a private school that I chose myself), no longer existed. I just made enough money to pay the bills and that was it.  I started to hate money and I saw it as evil in the world. I even blamed my parents secretly for not educating me on finances. I  never took the responsibilty for educating myself on how to make more money in the system. I chose to stay a victim.

I worked for a multinational where I soon realized that it was all about money and profit. They didn’t care about their staff, given the low salaries and the constant focus from the management team on money. I realized that I cared more about myself than they did and I wanted to see the care reflected back on me. I wanted to work in a place where the welbeing of people was seen as most important instead of profit. I investigated other work places and companies  but saw that profit was a goal everywhere. At that time, around 2008,  I realized that this was a reflection of my own relationship with money; I had made money as a goal in my life. I was chasing it. It came as a big shock to me to  realize all of  this.   From that moment on I started to investigate my thoughts and beliefs about money and saw that we, as humanity, don’t need money at all to be alive. It was a self-created belief that I was participating in.

I realized something else too; we can ALL have access to life, we don’t need to work so we can buy a life (i am not saying that we don’t have to work at all, because we have created enough problems on this earth that needs to be solved). We have created beliefs about life and money that has manifested itself in a money-system that is a survival of the fittest and not best for all. It’s based on self-interest. When you have money you have access to life -the millionaires and billionaires- and when you don’t have it, you will suffer, you will die directly -people in third world countries- or you have just enough to not die immediately -people without a job, people who work full time for low wages, people on welfare, flexworkers, freelancers etc.

The majority of people don’t have autonomy and freedom to make choices that are best for them en their loved ones. Autonomy and freedom go hand in hand with having money. It’s possible to solve the huge gap between the few that have access to life and the majority that doesn’t. It starts with myself, ourselves by investigating our beliefs, to question them and to correct them into the best outcome for all.

In my next blog I will write self-forgiveness and self-correction about my beliefs about money.

Day 335 Self-forgiveness and corrections on my thoughts about debt

Self-Forgiveness - Cornerstone Christian Counseling

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get myself into debt -a personal loan- without educating myself first on what debt is and the long-term consequences of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I get myself into debt for things that I don’t need and which only fuel my short term wants, needs and desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not educate myself about debt before going into  it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get into debt with a startingpoint that is based on self-interest and to not use common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create issues around debt and to not investigate where those issues come from and to not stop them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my debt for a long time, not dealing with it and paying it off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it’s not the debt that causes the tension and stress, what I am really worried about are the things that coming up, about what can go wrong and I don’t have the money to pay back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel fear when going into debt because of me thinking that I will never be able to pay it back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put pressure and tension on my body for years and to not see, realize and understand the long term consequences for my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, now I am debt free, I will never ever go into debt again and to not see, realize and understand that the whole worldsystem is based on debt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I borrow money, that I borrow it from debt itself, so I am always paying back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the debt system is an external manifestation of who we are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am taking from life and that debt starts with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the debt I should carry upon my shoulders, is the debt that I have to pay back to my physical body, to life and to myself.

When and as I am aware of me going into fear when faced with debt, I stop and I breath. I realize that I can stand equal to debt as what is accepted and allowed as the worldsystem we have today.

I commit myself to, whenever I am  faced with debt, to make sure it’s a practical debt as a future investment and to not make unnecessary debt and to not make it a big issue. I will hold on to what I need to create in my life, to add in the things that I need.

I commit myself to pay back to life, my body and being by taking good care on a daily basis.

I commit myself to fullfil myself as a person as much as I can and to see, realize and understand that there is no problem with that.

 

 

 

 

Day 329 Self-created believes about money and Life

blue Work Harder neon signage

 

This blog is a continuation from the previous one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought that I have a right to live here on earth only when I have money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I only have value for myself and others, when I have money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that when I don’t have money, I don’t have a right to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that without money I am nothing, I will gain no respect from myself or other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that my startingpoint of giving me a reason to live is money and not Life itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that Life itself doesn’t need money to be able to exist. It is already Here and always has been.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I need to work for money/to have access to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I need to work harder to be able to earn more money and thus more Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from life by holding on to the idea that I need money to be able to have access to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fully believe the lie – as a thought-  that I need money to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to think that I need to survive here on earth and to not see, realize and understand that this is a self-created thought to separate me from Life that is Here already.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that Life itself needs to be valued and honoured instead of money.

I do realize that we as humanity somewhere in history, decided to live with money as a way to trade food and products and somewhere down that line, we began to see money as god, something to live for. By doing that, we separate ourselves from Life. We can make a choice to be in allignment with Life by giving everyone a Living Income that is guaranteed from birth till dead. A life that is best for all.

 

Day 325 from being judgmental to supporting my body

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor love thyself

I have built a closer relationship since only a few years with my body. In my process I came to realize that my body is supporting me and that it gives me the opportunity to experience myself in this life. Before this realization my body was ‘just there’. I wasn’t connected with it in a caring way, because most of the time I was busy with the world around me, not paying attention to myself.

For decades I had ignored the signals my body gave me when I ate enough but still continued to eat. I ignored the tiredness after I ate an overdose of sugar, day in and day out for years and years.  I ignored the rest and support my body needed when it was sick and instead I continued with work, school or daily responsibilities. The effects of smoking I ignored for many years until the signals became literally to painful to ignore. This could happen because I didn’t care about me in the first place, I didn’t love myself at all.

I became more aware of my body when I started my journey inwards. The journey inwards was the beginning of an intimate relationship with myself and simultaneously with my body.

Through gaining more understanding of how thoughts, emotions and feelings were effecting my body, I could see the consequences. I started to investigate them and discovered that I wasn’t supporting myself at all. It was a race to the bottom where I hit the ground really hard. In that moment I made the decision to take another direction in my life and started the journey inwards.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay attention to the world outside of me and to not take responsibility for what’s going on in my mind and body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my body is ‘just there’ and to use this thought as a distraction from my self-responsibility.to keep in touch with what is going on inside me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the signal that my body is giving me when I ate too much food or I ate an overdose of sugar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take enough rest when my body is sick and to not support it with what it needs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I crossed the boundaries of my body and instead have the thought that my body will do whatever and whenever I want it to do as if it were a machine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that what I am doing with my thoughts to my body is also mirroring the relationship I have with myself and with life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start addictions to sugar and cigarettes and to justify them with compromising thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that there is a relationship between my thoughts, emotions, feelings and my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not see the purpose of my body; that it is supporting me to experiencing myself in this life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the needs of my body and to withhold it from the right nutrition and balance in rest it specifically needs.

When and as I am aware of ignoring signals my body gives me, I stop and breath. I do realize that my body communicates with me and supports me in my process.

I commit myself to enhance the relationship with my body, providing it with specific nutrition, movement and to balance movement with the amount of rest that my body needs.

I commit myself to investigate my thoughts, ideas, judgments and patterns I held about my body and to release them through writing Self-Forgiveness statements and correct them with words that support myself as life as who I truly am.

 

 

Dag 306 expanding myself

big-bang-897187_640

I will push myself to find a way to live the word SELF EXPANSION through learning, realising and changing myself in real time.

The meaning of the word ‘expansion’

– The act or process of expanding

– The spreading out of a structure

– An increase in the volume of a substance while its mass remains the same

– The state or quality of being expanded

– Improvement

– Unfold

– Development

Through investigating this word, I discovered other words that are inherent to ‘expansion’: ‘growth’, ‘development’ and ‘unfolding’.

First thing I realised is that to expand myself, I have to step out of my comfort zone and push myself to do that. What I did last week was to be self-honest with myself and spoke up about what I see in myself and others as well. I could clearly see that there are consequences of me holding myself back/not speaking up, as I always have done that way. It could not stand anymore because it leads to separation and suppression and limiting myself, which is not what is best for me, or others as well.

In fact; this week I chose to be self-honest, throwing myself in the deep end, not knowing what the outcome will be. I am a bit shaky doing that, because it is a totally new way of expressing who I am. I do realise that in this process I make mistakes and when I am aware of them, I correct them as I see that I am responsible for making them in the first place.

It is interesting to discover that when I was speaking up, I experienced respect towards myself, taking myself serious in what I see and have to say to the other and by having respect for myself, I see I do care about me.

I am experiencing growth/expansion inside myself and that leads to a whole other quality in the relationship I have with myself and everyone I am in contact with. It is about being real, not taking any bull shit anymore or holding myself back because of excuses that I want to fit in or please everyone around me by keeping the current status quo. I am commited to challenge it.

It is about me, being in process and still having work to do; leaving out what is not working for me anymore and supporting myself with living words each day, so life as what is best for all can unfold it self through me. It is about seeing my own values and principles and live them, get them in this worldsystem.

Lets see which other words I can find in this process of self-expansion that will support me.