Day 333 The answer is always right in front of me

The answer is right in front of US! An old clue found in ...

As we all have to make decisions in our lives, I have found out that sometimes I can make them in an absolute certainty; I know what I want, or not. It’s clear and solid to me and if feels natural.

When I look back in my life (especially in my teenage years),  at the decisions I have said ‘yes’ to in an absolute certainty, those where the decisions were I have learned most about myself or I expanded myself through strengthing my talents or developing new skills.

However, nowadays, I am sometimes confronted with situations where I freeze within myself when I have to make a decision. What’s behind it is fear, the fear of having to make a choice. At the moment for instance, I am faced with more than one direction that I am able to take in my work. I can also see that my talents and skills will fit in any direction that I choose. Now being aware of this makes me go into freezemode right away. And I leave it just there, I don’t investigate or search for what is best to do while the answer is right in front of me.

The point I missed and that leads me to an answer as a certain and clear decision, is to give myself all  context; everything and all that is involved. What I can do in this situation is;

  • to take everything in consideration
  • to take the people that are involved in my life in consideration
  • to look at the possibilities and probabilities
  • to see when and if I go this or that way, what will be best?

Instead of gifting this to myself, I just go into a reaction immediately. And thus,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear by going into freezemode when faced with having to make a decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to panic in fear when I am faced with more than one opportunities within my work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realized and understand that the answer is right in front of me, in this case a decision that I can be clear on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take the responsibility to direct myself out of my freezemode and instead, leave myself hanging in there for a while.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let fear control me and to not change this in real-time when being aware of this fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not gift myself  the context of all  and everything that is involved and that will lead me into an answer that is a clear decision.

When and as I am aware of me going into fear/freezemode when faced with having to make a decision, i stop and I breath. I realize that the answer is right in front of me and so I commit myself to give myself full context of everything and all that is/are involved in the situation so I can make a clear decision.

 

I can recommend this interview with support on having to make a decision;

Why your weakest points are your greatest strength – life review

 

 

 

 

Day 321 fear of leadership

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I am very fascinated by leadership and managing people. I have read a lot of books about this topic. Why? Because I have worked in companies where I saw people in leadership positions that weren’t fit for the job. I saw the consequences of it all for the teams/the people.  It really did hurt me to see people becoming smaller and more insecure because of bad leadership/managing people. What I saw and realized is that a lack of trust, ‘wanting to stay in control’ and not knowing how to direct people, was causing the problem, over and over again. It was a huge frustration for me at that time to realize and not knowing what good leadership was all about so I started to read about it. The point that I didn’t saw in leaders was the point of coaching people; how to support them in reaching their utmost potential. To get the best out of them so it would lead to more quality and sustainable growth of the business.

Reading about it was a great help but more importantly and effective; bringing back the word ‘leadership’ to myself was of most support. Redefining the word; what did it meant to me in the past and how do I want to live it? What is real leadership and how can I create myself as a leader – for myself first? It is a process with falling back into comfort zones, standing up again, pushing myself through resistances, not giving up on myself, learn from my mistakes and expanding myself.

I was recommended to watch this video from Sunette where she shared her process with becoming a leader and managing people. It’s an excellent support for those who want to live their utmost potential.

I will apply self-forgiveness and self-correction on the points I come across in my process of living the word ‘leadership’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for being hard on myself for making a mistake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a mistake and react to it by going straight back into my comfort zone of making myself invisible for the rest of the world, stepping into my introverted character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go straight back into my comfort zone of being introverted, making myself invisible for the rest of the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up for myself when I am falling/making a mistake and to not push myself through the resistances to move on and expand myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to stumble and fall but instead wanting to be perfect at once without realizing it’s a process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strongly resist the position of becoming/being a leader/managing people because of the fear of falling, making mistakes, being not good enough and taking responsibility for myself and as a result of this fear, holding myself back from expanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that life gives me situations that will assist and support me to step up for myself, not accepting and allowing less than my utmost potential and instead go into self pity not seeing that these situations are seeds to step up and expand myself to live my utmost potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that ‘I can’t do this’ instead of asking myself the question ‘how can I do this?’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a good example for others in a leadership position.

When and as I see myself wanting to give up on myself, I stop and breath. I will investigate my thoughts and apply self-forgiveness and self-correction on my realizations.

I do realize that it’s a process to become a good (Self)leader, where I will stumble and fall, make mistakes and have to push myself through resistances and out of my comfort zone of being introverted, making myself invisible for the world and instead step up for myself and expand and create myself as the best leader I can be.

I commit myself to keep investigating what skills and talents  do I need to develop within myself  to assist and support myself in the process of living the word leadership. I commit myself to reach out for people that can and will support me in this process.