I had the opportunity to do a coaching session with a coach and her horse. The coach gave me an assignment to do together with the horse, in accordance to the question I brought in. As I was busy with the horse and the assignment, the coach gave me feedback about what I was showing in my interaction: I was leading the horse and I didn’t communicate with her or gave her any space for communication with me. It showed me how one-sided and dominant I was in this situation.
I could relate to this in my daily life; I can be dominant in my communication and tend to forget about giving space to the other person so we can actually communicate with eachother. This occurred after a long period in my life where I didn’t participate or give direction to myself in a conversation. Most of the time I would only listen. Since this realization and knowing more of how to direct myself within communication, I could say that now I went too far in it. This is not what is best for me and the other person. I corrected my behaviour in my coachingssession by giving the horse more space to bring in herself and I noticed how much more relaxed it was for the both of us. Less control, more playfulness and respect.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gain confidence in directing myself within communication and going too far in it; meaning being dominant and one-sided.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that leading a horse means that I have to be in control over her and she needs to do what I want her to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that a horse is somebody too and that she might not be able to say something to me but she can actually communicate with me through her body language and her actions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to communicate one-sided to the horse and be dominant within it. I only hear myself and I don’t pay attention to the horse and who she is and what she wants and needs.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I need to be in control over the situation because I think the other will be dominant/controlling over me when I let go of control.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I give space to myself and equally to the other person, we can actually see, listen and communicate with eachother. It is then much more relaxed.
When and as I see myself communicating one-sided and dominant with another person, I stop and I breath. I will investigate my startingpoint as thoughts and apply Self-forgiveness and Self-correction on them so I can direct myself in the conversation.
I do see, realize and understand that within communication with another person, there is space for the both of us to bring ourselves in and that this can lead to actually seeing and hearing eachother and so we can both direct the conversation to what is best for us.
I commit myself to direct myself in conversations in a way that there is space and time for myself and also for the other person to bring in what they want. Within this, we both have control over the situation and can direct it to an outcome that is best for us.