Day 319 directing my stubbornness

stubborn-person

I had a cool conversation with others about stubbornness. I could very much relate to this word because I have been stubborn for a really long time in my life. When other people would say something to me or about me, I would not listen to them and reject their words immediately.

When looking at why I would reject the words of others, I realize that I only wanted to see my own way as a big protection wall for my ego and insecurities. I had this idea of being attacked by someone else when they wanted to show me what they had noticed about this or that or about me. I did not trust anyone by their words.

As I can see and realize now, it also has to do with me being insecure and thinking that I am not good enough. So as long as I could hold on to my own way, I saw myself as being strong and standing for my own beliefs.

However, when I began to let go of my own created protection wall in my process, I started to listen to what others had to say. In fact, I became more curious at their perspectives and insights. I have given myself the chance to stand in their shoes, to really see and hear what they want to show me and then assess/ re-evaluate my own point of view or I can show them mine if I see it will support them. It is interesting to know how many times their words supported me or the situation for a better outcome.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reject the words of other people immediately when they want to show me something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not wanting to listen to other people’s words or point of view but instead hold on to my own way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the decision to not trust the words of others before I even hear them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think as a believe that other people will attack me by saying something negative about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I hide my own insecurities by being stubborn. I am not willing to see or investigate ‘my own way’, my own words that I am not sure of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not willing to see and investigate my own way, my own words that I am not sure of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it was all about me not trusting my own words, not trusting myself because my words were self-centered.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am not good enough, a pattern that is deeply ingrained inside of me.

I do realize that when I am being more open to investigate my own words or point of view and to trust myself that I am able to direct them for the best outcome, I can stand more easily in the shoes of someone else and re-assess my own words. Then stick with it or change it when it is best in the situation and so for all.

I commit myself to trust my own words and point of view and to hear and see other’s -by standing in their shoes- so I can assess and direct them both for the best outcome.

 

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